Everyday Witches

*Authors Note* Although this is pretty off topic for my website, it’s been on my mind and I thought it might be worth sharing here anyway. Struggles with identity and perfection are topics close to my heart and also play a fair sized part in my novel so I hope that you’ll indulge me in my departure from my usual fiction.

Dolly Parton must’ve been doing something right. She managed to make it to 80 years old before crossing over into old Glory. And she left behind her a lifetime legacy of grace, talent, philanthropy, and style that’s unparalleled. Adored by just about everyone, she managed to bring together an unlikely combination of beliefs and practices that came through as a well rounded and well loved identity; even in a world that all too often pressures us to be worse or better than we really are, to suit a stereotype.

Too many celebrities (and also us regular people) succumb to the pressure of seeking perfection or accolades and end up caving. From the well loved rascals like Matthew Perry to the well respected saints like Mandisa, life itself reminds us that none of us are immune to the perils of pressure and an early demise.

But Dolly managed to pull together a life known for an alluring appearance with the substance she imparted through her many charitable ventures in addition to her impressive singing career. I believe that the ability to embrace the Wabi Sabi side of life is what allowed her to endure as an icon and to flourish into old age and slide out gracefully at her appointed hour.

Wabi Sabi is an ancient Japanese Zen Buddhist concept that involves embracing the natural side of life and the beauty of imperfection. It’s basically the love of things that are perfectly imperfect. The concept is that nothing in nature is truly perfect and that things can be even more valuable for showing their flaws and signs of wear than something contrived for someone’s ideal of perfection. It’s a poignant premise that I think brings to balance the struggle we all face in putting up appearances in life.

I am the kind of woman who will one moment extol the virtues of grace and the dire importance of sharing it with others in a world where grace is not it’s natural state, but something fought for with weapons and words and paid for with blood and sweat. And in the next, after a few glasses of wine, I might be telling my teenage son about the time I gave myself a tattoo on the ankle with a safety pin and some India ink, at the tender age of 14. (True story, lol) And I sometimes struggle with the idea that both parts of myself are okay. It’s who I am. But I have embraced the concept of Wabi Sabi for many years now and truly believe that life is better with a little imperfection thrown in, even if we sometimes feel guilty as hell about it.

We may never know the struggles that cause so many of us to fold and fall far too early in life but I think that by celebrating and embracing the examples of those larger than life people such as Dolly Parton, who manage to bring together an abounding personality and a life that demonstrates and celebrates all aspects of who we are, we might just be on the right track too.

To find out more about the concept of Wabi Sabi-

https://www.ebsco.com/research-starters/social-sciences-and-humanities/wabi-sabi